Wedding bells are NOT ringing!

Aloha mai kākou e nā hoa 🙂 Hello, friends! I hope you’ve been having a lovely week so far!

As I sit here reflecting on life, my mind wandered to a conversation I’ve had a little more than a week ago. I had gone to eat breakfast with my friend, Wyatt, and while we were talking about life, he had brought up an interesting question. “So, Mauri,” he started off. “I know it’s the typical girl thing to think about this, so I had wanted to ask you as well. Have you ever thought about your future wedding plans?”

I kind of nonchalantly replied, “No”, to which he responded with, “That’s bullsh*t! All girls have thought about it at least once!”

When I really think about it, though, I honestly haven’t thought about my future wedding plans. This led me down a spiral of questions. Why haven’t I thought about my wedding? Am I normal for not starting to plan this out yet? Am I a “typical girl” for not imagining how I’d want to walk down the isle?

I’m only 23 years old! Am I supposed to have that all figured out right now??

I began writing out a list of things I did think about in terms of my possible future marriage, and I was left with one item – my bridal party. Even then, though, my bridal party list is pretty shaky! Sure, I pretty much know who I’d ask to be my maid-of-honor, but who else would I ask to be a part of my bridal party? To be completely honest, I haven’t really spoken to or hung out with people in a while, especially those who were pretty close to me while in high school and college. Would it still be okay to ask those people to be a part of my bridal party when it’s finally time for me to say “I do”?

But surely, Mauri, you must have some sort of idea about your future wedding! Do you want an indoor or an outdoor wedding? What time of year do you want to get married? How much of your enormous family are you going to invite? What kind of decorations do you want? Surely you’ve figured out something as simple as the type of flowers you’d want!

Nope! Nothing! Zip! Nada! I honestly haven’t the faintest idea on what I want in my future wedding!

But why haven’t I thought about this yet?

Well…I guess it just hasn’t really crossed my mind. Yes, of course I want to get married someday, and I definitely hope and pray it’d be a beautiful wedding! However, I think my priority right now in terms of love and relationships is finding that person who will fall in love with me in the first place and growing together both as people and as a couple. I feel like this is always at the forefront of my mind because I’m just so used to being brushed off to the side. Guys don’t fall for the shy, nerdy girl. Looks have always been most important before personality even came into play, which definitely left me out of the playing field so many times until this very day. Plus, it’s definitely been easier to choose to be a “future dog lady with 100 dogs alone in her house” than to hope for some guy to have feelings for me. (Plus, dogs are 100 times better than people!)

Before I even find my “prince charming” for that “happily ever after” wedding, though, I feel I’m too busy living life and figuring out who I am and who I want to be as a person. I’m only 23 years old, after all! I have my whole life to fall in love and figure out what I want in my wedding with my future husband by my side! Sure, it doesn’t help that more and more of my friends and classmates are getting engaged or married. However, this doesn’t mean I need to have everything figured out in terms of my wedding right at this very moment! Just because I haven’t really thought about it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. Besides, I think it would be fun to plan out this wedding with my future husband by my side, right? 🙂

Maybe as I get older, I’ll figure out some sort of idea pertaining to my future wedding, especially when I begin to attend more of them. As of right now, though, wedding bells are definitely not ringing. My thoughts and priorities are on a different wavelength. Besides, I feel writing this blog post is a great starting point in planning my own wedding once that time arrives!

Me ke aloha,
Mauri

5 thoughts on “Wedding bells are NOT ringing!

Add yours

  1. Love this post❤️ Year’s ago all I know was I want my motif to be peach and a halter white wedding dress. Fast forward – my fiance ( now hubby) frowned at peach, and we agreed on purple. I did have that dream halter dress😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah I’ve never really thought much about wedding plans – it seems to be a stereotypical “girl” thing to think about it but I feel like that comes from a culture that used to only value girls for their “marriageability”. I think that’s still true for many cultures around the world – like how in the US women used to go to college to get their “MRS” degree and were only there to find a suitable husband.

    But maybe that’s just me being cynical about a history of women being “given away” like property. I’m sure there are many women who think about their weddings and like to plan it because they enjoy having a special day with friends and family and flowers and they don’t really think about it in terms of patriarchal garbage. I also understand how it could be fun to imagine planning a giant party with that “white roses gold lettering wedding aesthetic.

    In any case I’ve definitely fantasized more about having a full time job and being able to buy my own house and how I’m going to decorate each of the rooms and all the arts and reading and whatnot I’ll be able to afford to do in my spare time. And I agree with you – I feel like planning a wedding should be a couple effort and not just having everything done like how one person wants it – the spouse should have a say too since he’s sharing the day so how can you plan something without even knowing who you’re getting married to?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, I didn’t know that a “MRS” degree used to be a thing in the US in terms of marriage! I know I was taught about “marrieagebility” & arranged marriages in other cultures while in school, yet the topic of women going to college just for a suitable husband in US was never discussed. Definitely something I will look more into because I would love to learn more about it!

      I’m the same as you in terms of fantasizing about a future full time job & getting a home. In my family, the priority is definitely being able to be independent & take care of yourself before marriage (although my mom constantly tries to set me up with her coworkers & friends that I hang out with >.<). And exactly! The spouse should have a say since it's his day as well 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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